Choose your destiny! Flawless victory! [Inevitable Tournament Arc]

[meat_mooks]

No sooner did the Obs Deck descend to Arena Planet LXIII, and the crew allowed to disembark, than they were met by a veritable cloud swarm of cameras. Sleek, elegant things that might have been living, might have been machines, maybe were even magical... but were definitely nuisances as the swooped around to capture video of the crew at all conceivable angles, close up and far away. Their every move from this point on would be on camera.

In front of a small crowd of retainers stood what appeared to be a great circular orb whose only distinguishing features were a nose, and what appeared to be the most overblown mustache ever, which actually appeared to be supporting that two-foot-diameter orb at shoulder height to a tall man. Then the orb took a couple of steps forward,revealing that no, those were actually just really, really hairy legs. A seam cracked open on the creature, and in a voice loud enough to echo across the broad open plains without any need for amplification, it bellowed, "AND NOW! STRAIGHT FROM THE TRANSMIGRATION NINE VESSEL! OUR NEWEST COMPETITORS! FRESH TO THE STAGE OF BATTLE, BUT NO STRANGERS TO WAR--"

It went on like this for some time.

Under cover of this introduction, a small man that to all appearances seemed to be the love child of Richard Nixon and a particularly aggressive Furby stepped forward, and in a bored businesslike tone recited, "Welcome to the tournament. There will be one battle per day. The arena in which you battle will be determined by random draw. Our medical crew will perform all healing necessary and ensure no deaths so feel free to not hold back. Please refrain from accepting any bribes or favors from on-planet spectators--"

"--ARE YOU READY?!" the orb bellowed even louder than before, completely swamping the smaller man's recitation. "THEN STEP THIS WAY!"

And so saying, the orb and its procession began a clearly well-choreographed procession towards a large, medieval-looking fortress that hung dramatically just on the edge of clear vision. (Conveniently, this procession passed several large advertisements.)

Comments

[meat_mooks]

"Too...

much....

work..."

The homonculus reached out, and with one massive hand, plucked a tree from the ground as easily as a blade of grass. Then Sloth hurled it at Ruffnut.

[ruffntumblenut]

Ruffnut let out a yelp and sucked in as much air as she could before diving into the swampy water that surrounded them barely avoiding the crashing crushing projectile.

Bursting from the muck farther away she shook plantlife from her helmet.

"Well hey dude if you just wanna lay down and give up I won't stop you. But you keep coming at me and it's ON!" She began slogging through the mire instantly regretting how it reduced her speed.

[meat_mooks]

Sloth didn't have an answer -- talking was too much work. He merely pushed through the swamp almost mindlessly, hands spread so he could grab the Viking as soon as she got in range.

[ruffntumblenut]

"Alright buddy you had your chance!"

Ruffnut put on a burst of speed sending muck and mire sloshing in either direction as she dashed for her opponent. With how much practice Zetta and Mindy had put her through dodging the grapple was a practiced an easy move.

Having gotten under his arms she began peppering his stomach with rapid fire punches one after the other, bursts of electricity exploding like small bombs with each impact. Harder and faster trying to put forth as many as she could before she'd have to dodge again. Her plan of escape? Right between his tree trunk thick legs!

[meat_mooks]

Did she want the good news or the bad news?

The bad news: Those punches had almost no effect. Only the electricity behind them seemed to give then any force whatsoever, and even then, by the time his massive hamhands came for her, his abdomen was barely pinkened by her attacks.

On the upside, she could squirt right through his legs very easily. He moved much too sluggishly to stop her.

"Too...

much...

work..." Sloth muttered as it turned after her.

[ruffntumblenut]

Her knuckles were singing a song of burning pain but that only drove her on. Pain was an absolute rush for her and kept her heart hammering away.

"OK new plan." She coached herself as she began dashing to keep behind Sloth. She could almost hear the Overlord yelling at her from wherever he was.

She inched closer and closer before taking a risk and leaping for him trying to scale the man mountain and claw her way to his head. If she could get there she had a painful and fun idea in mind.

[meat_mooks]

Sloth continued to look slowly around for her, never managing to catch her -- completely unaware of her location, in fact, until she seized him and began clambering up him. As she scrambled up his body, he reached for another tree trunk, ripping it up lightly.

[ruffntumblenut]

"Hey lookit this!" She roared and plunged her thumbs into his eyes before cutting loose with her electricity once more. With her thumbs acting as prongs the lightning had a nice clear path to the eyes and what lay beyond.

[meat_mooks]

That had quite a dramatic effect -- the homonculus's head burst like a melon hit with a hammer.

It slowly dropped to its knees.

[ruffntumblenut]

Ruffnut fell with him and stood up, standing ontop of the massive fallen form wiping blood from her eyes with a psychotic excited grin. She wouldn't have done that to a crew member...but it was pretty awesome all the same.

Pumping her fists in the air she let out a victorious roar that echoed through the swamp.

[meat_mooks]

It wasn't fallen. It was on its knees.

Shattered tendons around its neck began to reform. Muscles rose up. Bone and brains stitched themselves back together out of nothing.

[ruffntumblenut]

It took Ruffnut a moment to notice, and another moment to realize what she was seeing.

"THOR ALMIGHTY!!!" She cried out in shock and horror stumbling off Sloths shoulders and pitching headfirst back into the swamp water. She thrashed wildly to her feet and braced herself as she watched in twisted fascination at the scene.

[meat_mooks]

And a gruesomely fascinating scene it was, as the head gradually reconstructed itself, until the homunculus seemed as if Ruffnut had never hurt it.

"Stop...

hurting...

me...

Healing is...

too...

much...

work..."

It picked up the tree it had dropped when she had killed it, then swung it onehanded at her with bonecrushing force.

[ruffntumblenut]

Ruffnut only barely recovered long enough to leapfrog out of the way avoiding the destructive blow and getting splashed with more of the swamp water much to her annoyance. Splashing to her feet she shook her head to clear the moss and plantlife from her face.

"Alright ugly, You better have more tricks then that because I'm not stopping till you stop moving!"

Eyes blazing with excitement she began circling again to keep the slower creature off balance.

[meat_mooks]

"Using...

full strength...

is too...

much...

work..."

The homunculus turned slowly but implacably to face Ruffnut, but something seemed oh-so-slightly off about its movements...

[ruffntumblenut]

That gave Ruffnut encouragement, and a burst of energy to try clawing her way back up his back to try blowing his head off again.

"What's the matter big guy? Am I too much work too?" She mocked as her body surged with lightning filling the air with the scent of burning flesh and the scent of ozone.

[meat_mooks]

No sooner did Ruffnut step closer to him than Sloth charged.

At a speed faster than the naked eye could track.

Funny thing is, Sloth is the fastest homunculus.

So fast, in fact, that there was no technique or even attack behind the charge than Sloth simply hurling its raw weight at the Viking girl and trusting mass times velocity to do all the damage it needed to.

[ruffntumblenut]

Ruffnut didn't even see the force that slammed into her. It felt like an entire house had just punched her in the gut and sent her skipping butt first across the muck of the swamp. The wind was crushed out of her lungs, her eyes watering and even some blood leaking from her nose. All falling away from her as she shot away from the force of impact and vanished with a terrific splash into a deeper part of the swamp.

She thrashed herself to the air once more bobbing in a sinkhole that was at least as tall as she was and choking on putrid water.

wait...water?

The thought bounced over her stunned brain uselessly and she back paddled to a more shallow area where she could stand and catch her breath. "Why...in Odin's name...didn't you do that before?!" She wheezed sounding frustrated.

[meat_mooks]

The homunculus's momentum had carried it forward in an alarmingly long line, as demarcated by a churned up trench cutting through the swamp, torn-up trees, and shredded undergrowth. A few hundred feet away, Sloth laboriously pushed himself free of the tree he'd finally gotten stuck in.

"Too...

much...

work..." he muttered as he turned to face the girl again.

[ruffntumblenut]

"Yeah yeah work work work. I shoulda guessed that..."

And then the thought came bouncing back, water! She was surrounded by gross, scummy, plant filled water!

"Maybe I'm the one who's been working too hard..." She muttered and began edging her way back towards the deeper part of the swamp. "Well come on then. I'll move nice and slow so you don't have to rush again." She called feeling foolish. A Vikings first instinct was to rush into battle.

But an Overlord was all about tactics.

[meat_mooks]

"Trusting you...

too...

much...

work..."

That was all the warning she had before it burst into that awesome speed again, smashing a massive furrow through the swamp again as it raced towards her.

[ruffntumblenut]

Ruffnut tried to spring out of the way but once again was too slow. Her leg got caught by the bull rush and she was sent spinning through the air to belly flop into the mire again.

But this time she grinned and cut loose with her powers once again. The water carrying the charge to Sloth and any other creature foolish enough to be in the area's waters. Arcs of light danced along the surface and singed the moss and plant life casting threatening shadows all around.

Ruffnut could feel her strength already waning, she'd wasted alot of electricity on this fight and if it didn't end soon she'd be down to her punching and whatever she can scoop out of the swamp.

[meat_mooks]

The electricity locked up Sloth's legs as he charged, sending the giant crashing facefirst into the ground. Which was even WORSE for him, as it allowed electricity to course through him in a constant torrent of energy that forced his regeneration to work double time to keep up.

Still... as the bolts faded at last, the homunculus held still for a moment, before lifting his massive arms to plant them on the ground. He was moving slowly, now, grumbling.

"Getting up...

is...

too...

much...

work..."

[ruffntumblenut]

"THEN STOP GETTING UP!"

Ruffnut came roaring through the waters fighting the muck to get closer faster. She didn't carry any sharp weapons with her usually having been trained as a grapple fighter, but she had one standby. She yanked the horned helmet off her head (Amazed that it had stuck in place all this time, she would really have to thank Hiccup for his skilled armor upkeep) and brought the horned pointed tips hard into Sloth's skull.

Not convinced this would end him she ripped the helmet out hoping to strike again before he could heal the hole.

[meat_mooks]

The helmet cracked into Sloth's head, making his entire body go stiff as iron.

"Winning is...

too...

much...

work..."

Sloth collapsed.