Choose your destiny! Flawless victory! [Inevitable Tournament Arc]

[meat_mooks]

No sooner did the Obs Deck descend to Arena Planet LXIII, and the crew allowed to disembark, than they were met by a veritable cloud swarm of cameras. Sleek, elegant things that might have been living, might have been machines, maybe were even magical... but were definitely nuisances as the swooped around to capture video of the crew at all conceivable angles, close up and far away. Their every move from this point on would be on camera.

In front of a small crowd of retainers stood what appeared to be a great circular orb whose only distinguishing features were a nose, and what appeared to be the most overblown mustache ever, which actually appeared to be supporting that two-foot-diameter orb at shoulder height to a tall man. Then the orb took a couple of steps forward,revealing that no, those were actually just really, really hairy legs. A seam cracked open on the creature, and in a voice loud enough to echo across the broad open plains without any need for amplification, it bellowed, "AND NOW! STRAIGHT FROM THE TRANSMIGRATION NINE VESSEL! OUR NEWEST COMPETITORS! FRESH TO THE STAGE OF BATTLE, BUT NO STRANGERS TO WAR--"

It went on like this for some time.

Under cover of this introduction, a small man that to all appearances seemed to be the love child of Richard Nixon and a particularly aggressive Furby stepped forward, and in a bored businesslike tone recited, "Welcome to the tournament. There will be one battle per day. The arena in which you battle will be determined by random draw. Our medical crew will perform all healing necessary and ensure no deaths so feel free to not hold back. Please refrain from accepting any bribes or favors from on-planet spectators--"

"--ARE YOU READY?!" the orb bellowed even louder than before, completely swamping the smaller man's recitation. "THEN STEP THIS WAY!"

And so saying, the orb and its procession began a clearly well-choreographed procession towards a large, medieval-looking fortress that hung dramatically just on the edge of clear vision. (Conveniently, this procession passed several large advertisements.)

Comments

[meat_mooks]

They were certainly a good choice. His armor had no real resistance to electricity; the arrows discharged their full effect into him without any interference. He skidded as he went to a knee from the shock, his forward momentum interrupted.

But that was partially a feint. Where his claws touched the ground, a subtle shifting proved the only warning before another massive spike burst out of the ground directly beneath her once more, biomass forced through the terrain beneath them to catch her off-guard.

[hit_girl_mindy]

She got him! For about a minute.

"Oh balls fuck, seriously!?" She blurted out, apparently feeling less inclined to continue her Latin and irritated this guy was the fucking boss from a video game! He had to be!

She had no time to waste though, and floated up again, gritting her teeth. Damn but this was taking a lot of energy. But if the lightning hurt him, she better follow up on it.

Hit Girl fumbled for Zetta's gun again, and this time aimed straight and true, seeing if this would shatter the impressive armor.

[meat_mooks]

She should be so lucky. He was actually the protagonist, which made it much worse. The gun's blast hammered into Mercer's armor, not shattering it -- in fact, the armor was him now, his biomass shifted into this new form -- but shredding off layers of tissue. That had hurt.

The claws at the end of her opponent's hands melted into thick knobs of flesh so massive even the superhuman figure seemed to have trouble standing straight against the weight on his shoulders. Abruptly, he heaved them back, then flung himself forward, the twin masses launching him through the air like a weighted dart towards her.

[hit_girl_mindy]

Hit Girl grunted. Fuck, this was going to be a bitch. She could only sort of see what was happening, but there was no mistaking the change in the air, the ripple of energy that let her know that her opponent had gotten much, much stronger, and that if she didn't continue hammering into him she was going to run out of energy and he would pick her off easily.

Not today.

She'd have to conserve her energy though. She went back at him again and launched three grenades at him. It wouldn't be enough to stop, but it might hurt him AND it would give her some light for a few seconds.

[meat_mooks]

Grenades were... actually a very good choice of weapon, as it turned out. The triple detonation shredded massive amounts of biomass from his body, and his flight to her fell short as he hammered into the ground.

His fists shifted again, returning to the whipfist as he lashed at her with the bladed tentacle.

[hit_girl_mindy]

Explosions looked like they were doing the trick. Granted, they still took a lot to do by magic, but at least she had a few on her still, so long as she used them at just the right time.

With the whip fist, she decided to go at him long ranged, using the ray gun she recently bought with Lash on their last shore leave to shatter though his offense.

[meat_mooks]

He reconstructed the shield just in time for the ray to shatter it again, staggering him backwards. For the moment, she had the advantage of momentum and initiative, though if she couldn't find a way to press it....

[hit_girl_mindy]

Oh, a novice would have continued with long ranged, but Hit Girl HAD been working herself toward getting in a good clear shot. This was going to take a hell of a lot of energy, but she had been training with Morgan and Zetta and Ruffnut. She wasn't about to hold back.

With a yell her staff found his way into his chest, pretty sure he wouldn't die. He wasn't supposed to, right? That was the rules.

[meat_mooks]

One problem: He had no internal organs. No vulnerabilities. No weak spots. No object or function within him that, when destroyed, would cease to render him a thread.

One thing saved her from taking a claw or blade through the chest as he reached up for her -- he had to shift his hand away from the whipfist to do it. Which he was doing even now, the tendril retracting and the claws extending.

[hit_girl_mindy]

Oh seriously?! What the fuck?! It was like this guy was designed to piss her off! She was damned lucky he hadn't gotten his hand to claw her up, which she wasn't going to give him the opportunity to do. She hit the ground quick and rolled, but she wasn't done yet. He was still trying to recover to build a shield.

So as she rolled away, one grenade was flung at his face and two on the floor next to him. No way she was going to miss that window of opportunity.

[meat_mooks]

By the time the flash and the shrapnel cleared, silence had fallen again. Total silence.

It lasted all of five seconds before the cavern erupted in fireworks and a victory fanfare.

[hit_girl_mindy]

And of course the sound at first put Hit Girl on defensive. Was this his final attack?!

But no, that would be stupid. It looked as if she...actually won.

Shit, that had been tough. Her limbs were aching, her eyes hurt from seeing in the dark, and she was sporting a pretty mean looking black eye and bruise on her cheek. Nonetheless, she managed a smile.

[meat_mooks]

As swiftly as they had been brought there, they vanished -- reappearing in a small, narrow room, each of them on a narrow bed. Her foes was sort of a collapsed jellyish blob rather than a human figure, but clearly he was still alive by some definiton.

An old man, hideously blackened and burned, leaned heavily on a staff as he faced her. "Choose your spoils," he said.

[hit_girl_mindy]

Hit Girl wanted to collapse and recline on the bed, but now was the time to conduct this with dignity. She had, after all, the ability to choose a strength or something, right?

"Those hand things are clumsy and wouldn't look good on me," she mused, "so I'm gonna go with opening up the floor and attacking stuff. That'll be useful in the next fight."

She would have kept the shield, but she had the barrier jacket and the force field spell. Hit Girl would make do with those.

[meat_mooks]

"Very well," the old man said brusquely. One hand still clutching his staff, he reached into the gelatinous form, rummaging around as if searching for something.

"A virus," he muttered. "You must pick a hand, then. It will be a carrier for the virus. I will contain it to that hand. I have that power."

[hit_girl_mindy]

Yay, gross.

"I'll go with the claws then," she said, although she didn't look super enthused about having a virus in her. They could get that out later, right?

[meat_mooks]

"It is all a virus," the old man snapped irritably. "That is what he is. One virus colony, that absorbs and reshapes biomass. If you wish to claim a power of his, you must take that virus into yourself. I will seal it so it does not spread further into you, but the part it takes will become like him."

[hit_girl_mindy]

Jeez, calm your ass, old guy. She got the point!

"All right," she said, taking a breath. "Hell, I've had viruses before, this one will just be different."

That's right Hit Girl. Downplay it as much as you can.

[meat_mooks]

"So which is it, then? The claws? The groundspike?" The old guy was not calmed, merely growing more irritable. Severe burns would do that to a man.

[hit_girl_mindy]

Hit Girl really liked the claws. They were fucking awesome and made her look cool. But she would choose practicality over appearance any day.

"Better go with the ground spike."

[meat_mooks]

"Choose your hand," the old man said, drawing from the prototype a small nugget of grey ooze.

[hit_girl_mindy]

She thought about this a moment. "The musclemass."

[meat_mooks]

"Left or right?" he said. His hand never left his staff, though he seemed clearly able to walk without it as he paced over to her.

[hit_girl_mindy]

"Right," Hit Girl said, supposing it did make a difference somehow. "What's up with the staff?"

[meat_mooks]

"Hold out your hand," he said, ignoring her question.