Diana sees him fading. Going. Soon he’ll be just like the others. Those bodies. A corpse with no one even remembering his name.
It’s only just hitting her. He’s going and there’s nothing to stop it. No snide comments to make because there won’t be a chance for him to look back on them and get angry at her.
They weren’t even friends. That was the hardest thing. How could she be getting upset over someone she wasn’t even friends with? Back in that cruel bubble they barely acknowledged each other’s existence, but on the ship they’d become… Something. They’d taunted and teased each other, made inside jokes, understood each other.
Some sick part of her brain told her that for all intents and purposes that did make them friends.
She puts her palm across his forehead, shielding his eyes. He’s freezing. Her hold is strong and solid.
She doesn’t know what to say. She’d always detached herself so much from the deaths in FAYZ, ignoring them, mocking them, not getting locked in the destructive thoughts about familiar faces suddenly becoming lost names. About those who hadn’t stood a chance having their future ripped away from them.
But Howard had had a chance. They’d both beaten the FAYZ and gotten a new chance, and Howard had lived. Made friends. Gotten hobbies. A job. A home. He’d gotten pets for God’s sake.
And now some infection on some middle-of-nowhere planet was going to do in 24 hours what the FAYZ couldn’t do for a year.
It made her… Mad. What was the point? What was the point in doing all that if--
Diana leans in, her eyelashes are clumped from holding back tears and she’s suddenly very glad her long hair can hide her face from everyone else.
Her mouth feels dry and she’s worried some of the salty water from her eyes might drip onto him and he’ll figure out she’s nearly crying, but she manages to hold herself together and whisper into his ear. Her voice soft but clear, she wants him to hear.
“You beat it, Howard. The FAYZ didn’t get you.” She wants him to hear its name. The name of that terrible place. The place he conquered and named. “The Fallout Alley Youth Zone couldn’t even touch you. You beat it, and Sam, and Caine, and Drake and that stupid Darkness and there’s not a thing it can do about it.”
She pulls back and her face is void of emotion. Once again, Diana is calm and collected, her only movement the periodic stroking of her thumb against the dying boys temple.
“If there’s a God, do me a favor, okay? Ask him not to put me in the same part of Hell as Drake?”
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It’s only just hitting her. He’s going and there’s nothing to stop it. No snide comments to make because there won’t be a chance for him to look back on them and get angry at her.
They weren’t even friends. That was the hardest thing. How could she be getting upset over someone she wasn’t even friends with? Back in that cruel bubble they barely acknowledged each other’s existence, but on the ship they’d become… Something. They’d taunted and teased each other, made inside jokes, understood each other.
Some sick part of her brain told her that for all intents and purposes that did make them friends.
She puts her palm across his forehead, shielding his eyes. He’s freezing. Her hold is strong and solid.
She doesn’t know what to say. She’d always detached herself so much from the deaths in FAYZ, ignoring them, mocking them, not getting locked in the destructive thoughts about familiar faces suddenly becoming lost names. About those who hadn’t stood a chance having their future ripped away from them.
But Howard had had a chance. They’d both beaten the FAYZ and gotten a new chance, and Howard had lived. Made friends. Gotten hobbies. A job. A home. He’d gotten pets for God’s sake.
And now some infection on some middle-of-nowhere planet was going to do in 24 hours what the FAYZ couldn’t do for a year.
It made her… Mad. What was the point? What was the point in doing all that if--
Diana leans in, her eyelashes are clumped from holding back tears and she’s suddenly very glad her long hair can hide her face from everyone else.
Her mouth feels dry and she’s worried some of the salty water from her eyes might drip onto him and he’ll figure out she’s nearly crying, but she manages to hold herself together and whisper into his ear. Her voice soft but clear, she wants him to hear.
“You beat it, Howard. The FAYZ didn’t get you.” She wants him to hear its name. The name of that terrible place. The place he conquered and named. “The Fallout Alley Youth Zone couldn’t even touch you. You beat it, and Sam, and Caine, and Drake and that stupid Darkness and there’s not a thing it can do about it.”
She pulls back and her face is void of emotion. Once again, Diana is calm and collected, her only movement the periodic stroking of her thumb against the dying boys temple.
“If there’s a God, do me a favor, okay? Ask him not to put me in the same part of Hell as Drake?”