trans_9 | Never tickle a sleeping Basilisk

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Never tickle a sleeping Basilisk

Sirius hadn't had much time to adjust. He'd hardly returned from the Multiverse's Next Top Model when GLaDoS grabbed him. And then when she finally let him go it was in a place of the ship he'd never seen before. Perhaps that was a blessing. Better to explore than to brood, as he had been inclined to do while he ran mazes.

Sirius didn't walk for very long before he came to something strange, or rather something out of place. He paused and stared at a set of sinks for about a minute before realizing why it looked so familiar. It was similar to the ones at Hogwarts- at least on certain levels. Not any in the men's rooms, probably one of the girl's. He had been in them several times to be sure there weren't any hidden passages and he hadn't found any. But this- this was different. The one sink had fallen away completely, revealing only a pipe. But then it couldn't be a Hogwarts sink, could it? Even if Sirius had missed the entrance then James or Remus ~~or Peter~~ would have found it. How could they miss something like this?

Sirius approached the sink and gazed down into the pipe. It was large enough to fit through. A secret entrance if ever he'd seen one though not very hygienic. As if that was going to stop him.

"Lumos." The light from Sirius's wand illuminated only several feet of grime coating the pipe but the pipe itself continued further.

Clearly there was only one logical thing to do. Jump in. Sirius's honor was at stake, after all, and all of the Marauders'. They had searched every inch of Hogwarts castle and grounds. They thought they had discovered everything. If this really was from Hogwarts then one of the Marauders, in this case Sirius, had correct this oversight.

Sirius stepped up to the pipe, took a deep breath, and practically jumped inside. Even if the pipe was old and covered in slime, the rush of air over his body was exhilirating. He had no idea what was about to happen next, where he would land (hopefully not on a set of spikes), or if anything was waiting for him (he would not be disappointed).

Sirius let out a laugh like a bark and the noise traveled up through the pipes, echoing above while he fell further below until finally he hit the damp stone floor at the bottom. He stood, brushing himself off, and looked up into the dark pipes. There was no clear way of how he would get back but he was not too concerned about it.

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"Oh, hell's bells-"

Roger was facing in the right general direction, and the thing was the size of a building. The way he saw it he stood a good chance of laying some pain down on the thing even if he fired wildly, so he took the best aim he could manage before closing his eyes and rapidly squeezing his rifle's trigger several times. If he was lucky, the red laser would at least damage the thing's scales somewhat- concentrating fire on a patch of hide worked wonders with Deathclaws, after all.

Just as Roger fired the Basilisk swerved closer to its prey- and out of the lasers line of fire. The light however, did cause it to rear back and hiss instead of striking at them.

Sirius risked a glance at the creature, keeping his line of sight close to the floor. Once he saw its position he shut his eyes again. He raised his wand at what was hopefully the Basilisk's eyes.

"Conjunctivitis."

Luck was not on his side, at least not in this instance. The spell struck the Basilisk's body and the scales repelled it back onto Sirius.

"SON OF A-" Out of instinct, Sirius dropped his wand and raised his hands to his swollen eyes.

<Dude, aim more to the right, it's moved out of your line of...what the hell was that? You idiot, what are you doing?> Marco said, changing track from trying to direct roger to wonder what the hell Sirius was doing when that...whatever that was happened.

But as much as Marco wanted to yell at Sirius for a while, he didn't have time for that. The thing was still coming for them, and since the genius with the stick had managed to take himself out he was gonna be in serious trouble. And not the kind he could make a fun pun about.

<If this thing eats me, I am so going to come back and haunt you. And your stick!> Marco yelled as he launched himself towards the basilisk and flying in circles around it's head in an attempt to distract it.

"Aiming right!" Roger snapped, eyes still closed and hoping like hell nobody got in the way. "Firing!"

The AER9 laser rifle is not an automatic weapon. It is, however, a weapon that can get twenty-four good shots in a row off a single microfusion cell, as fast as the operator's finger can repeatedly squeeze the trigger.

If Marco's aerobatics didn't distract the monstrous snake, the barrage of laser fire probably would.

The bat was of small concern to the Basilisk, at least at first. But it kept flying between it and its prey, blocking any attempts at eye contact. The Basilisk turned, slowly judging when to strike and close its jaws over the tiny creature when the laser grazed its scales. This was neither magic nor sword and though it did not seriously injure the Basilisk, the laser cut through its scales and weakened it.

The Basilisk's hiss grew louder and turned into an unearthly scream. It had slept for too long under the depths of the school, feeding its hunger more with hatred than with things that breathed. Now, when it could finally loose that hatred and sate its hunger, it was thwarted.

Recovering from the pain, the Basilisk dove for the bat. Drops of venom fell from its fangs.

While the others fought Sirius had fallen to his knees, less groping and more flailing as he tried to find his wand. He was not so much oblivious to the struggle going on around him as unable to think beyond his state of agony.

"FINITE INCANTATEM! FINITE-" The scorching pain in his eyes eased. He had the brief urge to sit back and cry at the new found relief. Then he remembered the Basilisk, the reason for his act of complete and utter stupidity.

He kept searching for his wand. It may be useless offensively but there was no reason he couldn't cast defensive spells, though he had little hope they would last long against the Basilisk. Why had he tried to cast a spell on the creature? He got an O on his Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T. He'd fought Death Eaters and lived. He'd ran alongside a werewolf for countless full moons. How stupid could he-

While he berated himself mentally his hands found not his wand but a battered hat. He forced his eyes open and was suddenly aware that there were tears streaming down from them. In that moment he was thinking many things. Mostly he was worried about fighting the Basilisk and keeping the others alive. But there were two other thoughts: one, that the hat he held was the Sorting Hat; and two, even if he was crying from sheer pain he did not want the others to see him in such a state. He didn't know if what he did next was out of pride and vanity or because of an odd compulsion (or both) but he placed the Sorting Hat on his head.

When Roger had started shooting Marco had cursed, flying up to try and dodge the beams. But soon after, he had bigger problems to deal with - namely, the giant monstrous snake that was now trying to eat him.

<AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!> Marco yelled, now focused not on distracting the Basilisk but on getting the fuck away from this thing.

Oh man he did not want to get eaten. He'd been eaten before. It was not fun.

Crap, crap, crap, there were only two shots left-

"Hey! Hey, you!" Roger shouted in the snake's direction, eyes still closed. "Try picking on somebody your own size!"

He squeezed the trigger twice more, and in a swift, practiced series of motions returned his gun to its moorings and tore the supersledge loose. The mass of the creature lay directly ahead. It'd be a damned hard thing to miss, and if he heard it rearing up or changing position to strike, he'd hopefully have enough time to twist out of its way. You didn't get far wielding a sledge if you couldn't pivot fast enough to give the thing serious momentum.

What followed was not a series of events he would much care to remember in times to come. The blasted Basilisk was easily as fast as a Deathclaw, or perhaps faster, and he had scarcely any warning at all of its motion or impending strike. The massive hammer didn't so much land a blow on its scales as provide a pivot point for Roger to spin around when the first fang strike came his way, and then the second; the third saw him simply drop to the floor and roll in as tight a ball as a man in his armor could manage. He was almost positive he heard the thing's fangs snapping just behind him as he came up out of it.

How long he could keep this up, at his age and with the monstrous snake that angry, he didn't know. He wasn't going to think about that. He just had to keep it off the kid until somebody figured out how to take the wretched thing down for good.

The pain in Sirius's eyes was gone, or rather ignored. The adrenaline coursing through his body quickly masked the pain. Now all his thoughts were directed toward the Basilisk and saving his crewmates.

He stood, still wearing the hat, and stumbled forward. That was when he felt something fall out of the Sorting Hat onto the floor. He could tell by the sound that it was metallic. He pulled off the Sorting Hat and looked down. There at his feet was a sword. The hilt bore several rubies. As Sirius grasped it he saw a name engraved on the blade: Godric Gryffindor.

Sirius didn't waste any time contemplating what had happened. He kept his eyes low to the ground, slowly following the sounds of the battle until he saw the body of the Basilisk. He held his breath as he raised his gaze higher until he saw that he was behind the Basilisk.

He moved forward as quietly and quickly as he dared. With the Basilisk's full attention away from him it did not notice that he was now directly behind its head. He leapt onto its body, raised the sword over his head and brought it down, slicing over its head. The Basilisk rolled aside, knocking Sirius off and nearly crushing him. It turned its head to face him but the danger was gone. The sword had shredded the eyes.

Reeling and shrieking, the Basilisk slithered past them and retreated into the shadows.

Sirius panted and clutched his rapidly bruising side. "I cut off the Basilisk's eyes but it's not dead yet. You can open your eyes."

The moment Roger had started distracting it, Marco hadn't wasted any time in trying to fly further away from the Basilisk. He'd just started to wonder what the hell they were going to do next (because even if it wasn't trying to eat Marco it had a pretty good shot at Roger), when Sirius had appeared.

<Oh good, we can open our eyes!> Marco said, flapping down to where Sirius and Roger where. <We were all nearly eaten by an overgrown snake, but we can open our eyes. You do realise that snakes can still smell us and sense heat, right? Believe me, I've been one. Even without it's eyes, that thing is fully capable of coming back and killing us.>

"If we can see it, we can fight it properly," Roger said, panting. "That thing was angry. Is there anywhere on its body we can hurt it besides the eyes?"

If nothing else... well, if it had a head, then it had a body part vulnerable to massive amounts of force. Maybe if Marco went gorilla again...

"You haven't been a Basilisk or else you wouldn't need me to tell you about it." Sirius stared up at the bat. "If you want to leave us and save your own skin then fine. You can fly back up the pipes." Sirius pointed back to the way they'd came as he spoke.

He turned to Roger. "The scales repel magic. I don't know if even the Sword of Gryffindor can penetrate its scales. I don't know how resistant they are to your weapons either." He paused for a moment to think but he kept glancing around, looking for any movement from the shadows. "There aren't any scales in its mouth so that's its weakpoint. The trick is hitting it there without being bitten. The venom should kill you in minutes." Less than that, if he remembered right.

<No, but somehow I seriously doubt that this thing won't be able to smell and sense us.> Marco said, coming down to the ground and starting to demorph. The bat was good for checking out the place - in a fight, it was practically useless. <And if I left, you'd probably end up knocking yourself out with your own attack again. Someone has to stay here to make sure you don't do something completely stupid.>

In a roundabout way, that basically meant that Marco wasn't going to bail. As much as he complained and acted like he'd run off at the first sign of danger, Marco was a lot more reliable in a fight than he seemed.

<You wouldn't happen to have any explosives on you?> Marco asked Roger. <If we can get one it it's...> his thought speak cut off as he demorped, but his message had come through clear enough.

Roger shook his head. "No explosives," he said sourly. "One laser pistol, my rifle here, and the sledge. If the thing's vulnerable inside its mouth, I can place five hits in a row on an area the size of a man's thumbnail at two hundred yards with the rifle in the time it takes to wind up and swing a baseball bat. Probably won't kill an enemy that size, but I will give it serious pain."

Sirius was never going to live shooting himself with his own hex down. But he could minimize the damage to his ego later, if they survived.

"Right. I'll distract it and get it to open its mouth while you er- shoot is the right word, I think?" Sirius lifted his sword and took several seconds to admire it while he still had the chance. "If that doesn't kill it I'll get close enough to finish the job."

"Right, and what happens if it eats you first?" Marco pointed out, now fully demorphed. "Or if he misses? That's way too risky, and way too dependent on just hoping it'll do what we want. If we're going to take this thing down, we'll be better off trying to find a way to immobilize it, or at least restrict it's movements."

"It'll be back around soon," Roger pointed out. "If you've got some kind of suggestion I'd really like to hear it."

"If you know how to immobilize something with no legs and nearly impenetrable scales then go ahead. Ah!" Sirius had finally spotted his wand lying several feet away. He darted forward, grabbed it, and moved back to rejoin the group. "I'll put up a few protection spells. Might slow it down."

"You can't hit it, but there's nothing to stop you from hitting anything else," Marco pointed out. "You got any spells that could cause a cave in?" Marco paused. "Man, I cannot believe I just asked that."

Roger considered that, and then turned and looked at one of the nearby pillars.

"Hey. How hard do you think a gorilla could swing this?" he said, indicating the sledge on his back. "It's got kinetic energy storage and release mechanisms built into it. Give it a few good swings and by the time you make impact it'll come in with three or four times the force of your actual swing. If he can't cause a cave in, I'd bet you could."

Sirius took a break from creating barriers to interject.

"I could create a cave in but it's a bad idea. Even if we weren't crushed it might seal off the exit. And there's no guarantee that it would kill the Basilisk. Our best chance is to hold our ground and fight."

"Fight, yes; make idiotic sacrifices, no. And the idea isn't to kill the Basilisk. The idea is to slow down the Basilisk, because that will make it a lot easier for Roger to shoot it."

And at that point Marco grinned. "Oh, a gorilla could swing that pretty damn hard. Hell, I'm betting I could at least stun it pretty damn hard with that."

"Take it, then," Roger said. "I'll set up for a shot. I only need its mouth open for a few seconds to make it wish it'd never been born."

Pause.

"Hatched. Whatever."

Sirius grinned at Marco and stowed away his wand.

"Ready for an idiotic sacrifice?"

"Dude, no way am I doing any ididic sacrifices. You can have that part all to yourself. Meanwhile, I will be coming up behind the snake in what we would typically call the 'not completely insane approach', which at least has a chance of working without killing you in the process." Marco said, taking the hammer and starting to morph.

Edited 2012-01-24 06:05 (UTC)

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