"It's hard to focus on anything when it doesn't matter. I kind of miss it, though."

Howard pauses and leans against the cliff face, tucking his hands into his the pockets of his hoodie to hide that they're trembling and balled into fists. He wishes he were better at hiding fear, or just at not being afraid at all. Just because he's used to it doesn't mean he likes it.

And Cedric should not be nearly as intimidating as Howard finds him.

"I was kidding. Sort of." Not really. "And I don't know. You might get there in a few minutes. Do you like me, Cedric? Because I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't."

It's not as if he goes out of his way to be cute and cuddly.