Howard nods thoughtfully. "Isn't there a unicorn or something making up a Friendship Department? I think that one's a girl, though. Don't they only talk to virgins or some weird magic thing like that?"

Because he found the shampoo first!

"I think I get to keep the ray gun. And, you know, my pride. Mostly I just made a claim I couldn't back up, so now I have to actually back it up, which sucks."