trans_9 | An Unexploded Shell Inside a Cell [Open]

She thought her life would be different by now, but she's a prisoner again. Voluntary, she guesses, which makes it a little bit different than the first time. At least she can blink on her own this time. Not that she's using her body to do much good.

Ironically, she almost always looked better when she was a more total prisoner. Without her makeup and hair clips and changes of clothes to arrange herself into some approximation of health, without even a mirror to confirm her suspicions, she looks a wreck. Dark circles line her reddened eyes; her hair is unbrushed and falls in tangled clumps over her face; chapped, bloodied lips and fingernails bitten down to the flesh speak to her uneasy transition back into captivity.

Eva's given up all attempts to look 'okay'. She ripped a man's face open with her bare fingers. She's been a long road away from 'okay' for a while now, but she spent too long mistaking her anger and stubbornness for strength and resilience to recognize it. She's wised up now.

She really wants a drink right now. Instead she has some books - selected poems by Pablo Neruda and an anthology of poetry by women poets in the Andes - and a pillow and blanket. She's curled up on the cot with the former book in her hand, but drifting in and out of sleep. Her breath comes lazy and heavy as she alternately reads, dreams, and watches the door to the brig with heavy-lidded eyes, looking for nothing.

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"Downtime huh?" Sandy looked at her flatly and folded her arms, "In jail?"

Yeah sorry Eva, Sandy's not buyin' it.

"Well. Mandatory downtime behind bars. You know, just everyday rest and relaxation," she says dryly. Figures Sandy would call her on her crap.

"So...you locked yourself up for a vacation...in the brig." Sandy reasoned.

She then gave the wall a tap with her foot.

"Nope." A simple deceleration. One word was all it deserved. "Try again."

"Alright, it wasn't for vacation. I broke the law, but this is procedural. I wanted to turn myself in so I could at least keep some dignity intact." She reaches through the bars and holds a hand out to hold Sandy's hand. "There isn't always much pride in running away."

Sandy looked puzzled at the explination but automatically took the hand and held it firm and secure.

"So...you messed up. And you turned yourself in."

She didn't sound particularly pleased with this concept, more worried. "How long are you in here?"

"Pretty much. If I didn't, someone else would have turned me in. I like to do these sorts of things on my own terms."

She gives Sandy's hand a squeeze. "Not long. A few weeks. How've you been? I worried about you, when the ship was attacked."

"I was OK." But she was holding onto Eva's hand firm and wasn't about to let go, "I was in the med bay helping there, running around...I hit someone in the head with a bedpan when he started freaking out." She said this last part with an embarrassed flush.

She laughs. "Hopefully not a full bedpan, at least?"

Sandy snickered and grinned, "Nah but if he hadn't calmed down that woulda been next."

She shuffled her feet, "I guess we won? It doesn't really feel like it but that's what people said."

Eva lets out a long breath through her nose. "We saved a lot of innocent people. That's a win, I guess. And we only had one casualty, which is close to a miracle."

But no, she doesn't feel it either.

"Yeah..." Sandy looked down feeling guilty for some reason. "I heard about that guy. Is that why everyone's so down in the dumps? I mean...I get it I guess if the guy was someone everyone liked. I didn't know him..."

"I think we probably go through a lull whenever we lose a member. Whether either of us knew him or not, he was a member of our community, and we're a small enough one of those as is." Hard to believe they live with only a few hundred others, maximum. Hard to believe they don't all know each other by now. "I didn't know him either."

"Never thought about it like that." Sandy mused letting the words settle in her head, "I only have like...a handful of people I actually care about so the group seems bigger to me." She paused and added "You're at the top of that list by the way...so don't get thrown in here again." And a pouty lip for good measure.

She grins and ruffles Sandy's hair again. "I'll make an effort not to, just for you, chica. You're on my list too."

Sandy's cheeks pinkened and she leaned against the bars with a pleased sigh, able to relax now that she knew Eva was ok.

"So...you are OK right?"

Just had to make sure.

She gently rubs Sandy's shoulder. "As okay as anyone can be when they've put themselves in jail, yes. You don't need to worry about me."

"Yes I do." And that was all Sandy had to say on that subject. Even she didn't quiet understand why she felt so strongly about what happened to Eva. Sure she was nice, and seemed genuinely concerned about Sandy's life, but wasn't it weird to care more about Eva then her own mother?

...nah.

"Also? Your son is pissed." She added not bothering to look up from the embrace.

"Ugh." The exasperated sigh Eva gives is worth its weight in gold. "So I've heard. He's not the type to just sit back and let the good times roll."

Not that she is either, but it's different when it's her. Because she said so.

An Unexploded Shell Inside a Cell [Open]

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