"Who knows? Maybe they're like, mechas who can come together and contort themselves into pieces and make one giant evil ballerina. With a ray gun!"

In a way, imagining all the craziness is sort of comforting. It's less scary when you joke about it. When you can pretend about riding the world's most ridiculous memoir and making millions off it.

"Oh, yeah, says the guy who doesn't breathe."