"Help me lift this guy." Howard tries to hoist the guy up at the waist and cracks open the door to the stairwell, flopping the man's arm out to make his hand wave. "Yell 'everything's okay in here, just slammed the door too hard'."

Because Howard's voice is too high-pitched for that. Also, people don't tend to sound terrified out of their wits when they inform others of door-slamming.