trans_9 | There's got to be a morning after [VERY OPEN]

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There's got to be a morning after [VERY OPEN]

It took a few moments for any thoughts to register for Steve when he opened his eyes. He recognized the inside of a quarantine bubble, that was for sure, but it took him longer to recognize the medical equipment hooked up to him, an IV in his arm and bandages wrapped around his bare shoulder and in a few other spots.

It didn't take long to recognize the feeling of having been run over by a truck, either. Every bone in his body ached, and even the slightest movement made him want to groan. It felt like he'd been asleep for a month-- a dreamless sleep, preceded by blurry, disconnected memories of what felt like a dream.

Memories of something he desperately, desperately hoped was just a dream. He had a sinking feeling it wasn't and part of him knew it to be the truth. But desperately hoping was the only way he could keep himself from screaming, which would hurt, so he'd keep on with that desperate hope anyway.

Steve lay awake and stared at the ceiling. Maybe if he stayed quiet they'd think he was still asleep, and he could put the truth and all the fear and sorrow that came with it off a while longer.

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Miku reached up to touch her necklace, and remembered that she'd taken it off to have it repaired. "Yes," she replied quietly, mindful of any listening ears. "Yes, you did. They said it wasn't your fault, though."

The confirmation had the expected effect.

"How isn't it my fault?" he moaned, lowering his head even further into his hands. "I should have been able to stop it, but I... Oh god, I didn't kill anyone did I? Is anyone hurt?"

"No one died," Miku replied softly. It was probably better not to say just how many had gotten hurt; even Miku didn't know the final number, but could at least count four for sure.

Well, at least there was that. He took pessimistic notice of her silence on whether or not there were injuries, and naturally assumed that he had plowed through an entire crowd of people while he was a mindless freak.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked after a moment, peering up at her from between his fingers.

Miku looked away from Steve and didn't immediately answer. It was probably damning enough. "You... It... I'll be fine."

His head sank down even further, and he didn't reply, simply choking back what were more than likely tears.

Miku took a deep breath, though it hurt like everything, and worried her lip between her teeth. "Steve... Steve, please, look at me." She reached out to take his hands from his face, to see him properly. The blood rushed around in her ears.

His eyes finally darted up to her, but only because she'd pulled his hands away. And they darted away a second later, before he clenched them shut to keep himself from crying. As if he needed that indignity on top of everything else.

Her hands were cold, just like usual, and held his hands from moving back to his face. Distantly, Miku realized that his hands were still ridiculously warm. "Look at me, please. I don't... I don't want to talk to you with you not looking at me."

She swallowed around the lump in her throat. It hurt, this actually hurt. Maybe Nanoha was wrong, and she just needed to leave. "Please."

Fighting back another sob, he bit his tongue to stop any more from trying to sneak out. Then he looked up at her, shaking his head.

"Please forgive me," he finally managed to say.

Miku nodded once and swallowed that lump down again. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't him, that it was fine, but had a feeling he'd just blame himself further.

"Of course," she murmured. Her legs felt a little awkward and kind of rubbery, so she leaned against the bed slightly. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I understand if you... if you want nothing to do with me ever again," Steve murmured, like he was forcing himself to say it. "Y-you don't deserve to be saddled with some infected freak like me. How could I ever have..."

Did he...

Had he really just...

After all they...

It took every ounce of Miku's self control to not scream, so there wasn't anything left for the slap that ~~came down out of Tennessee~~ she found herself delivering. "Don't you say something like that ever again!" Her ribs ached with the breath she drew, her quiet voice almost, allllmost shrill with protest. "You're agonizing over something I already had to! I love you! You're stupid, stupid, stupid, but I love you!"

Her hand hurt, and she hicced for air to keep from sobbing.

The slap had effectively shocked Steve out of crying, instead staring at her with something akin to disbelief on his face. He reached up and put his hand over where she'd slapped him.

"O-ow..." was all he managed to say.

~~That's right! Fear her tiny wrath!~~

Her hands shook and she pounded on his chest. Naturally, being Miku ~~and having all the physical strength of a dry twig~~ it didn't really hurt. "Jerk! Stupid!" she breathed and winced in pain.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Steve flinched and tried to protect himself, but he everything hurt and it was hard to block a tiny Japanese girl intent on beating you up and calling you a jerk.

He ended up with his arms up over his head, so at least she wouldn't slap him again.

Miku stopped finally, running out of steam when the last of her indignant rage burnt off. She felt a little bit emptier, but better. Her cheeks felt wet, and her eyes probably looked awful, so she brought her hands up to wipe at her face.

Her breath hitched again, and was compounded with the little squeak of pain. She was stupid for getting all worked up, and now her healing ribs were paying for it in spades. "I'm sorry."

Steve offered her a weak, albeit sad-looking smile. She wasn't the only one whose ribs were screaming in pain right now. "What do you have to be sorry for?" he replied.

"I shouldn't have gotten so... so angry," Miku sniffled. "Just... the whole time I was afraid that they would elect to kill you out of hand. Or that I wouldn't be fast enough to help you, or something. And... and after..." Miku breathed and wiped at her face.

"Well, that part doesn't matter now."

His expression sank a little bit at that, and he managed to pick out the part of it that bothered him. He'd been sure that losing control all the way would result in a Linear Launcher Tyrant Flambe.

"Why am I still alive, anyway?" he asked, softly, like he was afraid it would change if someone heard him. "What happened?"

"I don't know everything, but... after you transformed," Miku licked her suddenly dry lips and sat down beside his bed. She needed to sit, she realized. Her legs were way too rubbery at this junction. "They made a gun. It had whatever it was that was supposed to cure you for ammunition, the... suppressant, thing?"

Miku tucked her handkerchief from her pocket and wiped at the damp spots on her cheeks until they were dry. "So, Dr. Sera sent out a message for someone to deliver the gun to Claire and Leon, and I volunteered." She elected to leave out the part about denying the offer of a more regular weapon and the plant. "Luke helped me get there. I was able to give the gun to Claire, and while she and Luke distracted you, did my best to help the Captain."

She paused for a moment, her hand resting on the bed and fidgeting with part of the covers. "I... don't know what happened then, exactly. You... stopped. Like you recognized us, maybe? I'm not sure. But then the Captain tried to shoot you. And you made this... horrible noise." She was never going to unhear it in her lifetime, certainly. "Claire was able to shoot you with the suppressant... you knoc.... you got us out of your way and ran. And then you were you again."

Steve listened quietly and tried to match up her explanation to the bits and pieces of memories floating around in his head. It was more like an old dream that he couldn't remember all the parts of, but parts of it rang distantly familiar, somehow. Claire, Miku, Luke, and...

"Leon?" he repeated, sounding mystified. "He was there?" And Steve was still somehow un-fried with a high powered electrical plasma cannon?

Huh. Maybe miracles did happen.

He reached up to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. "So you guys all... saved my life."

Miku nodded slightly. She continued to pick at the blanket, waiting for her legs to feel solid again. "Yes, I... I guess we did." She stood and smiled slightly.

He slowly snaked his arm over to rest his hand on hers, squeezing only slightly.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his temple. "Thank you, too," she murmured. Miku turned her hand around in his and squeezed back. "Should I go?"

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