[Open] Thoughts

[youngsoldat.livejournal.com]

Erwin found himself on the observation deck again. He'd wandered the ship, seen the city, seen different places. It still took him time to adjust. It still took him time to fathom all of this. He'd ended up on the observation deck again - and luckily he had clothes now. A pair of jeans (relatively familiar to him - Americans wore them, not quite as popular in Germany) and a plain t-shirt. He kept his field cap on, though. It reminded him of home and where he came from. It kept him in the mindset that he was still a soldier and he would act like one as best he could, until he could go home. Or until everything here was resolved.

He frowned to himself, sweeping the field cap off as he walked inside (instinct, he supposed - there technically wasn't an 'inside' or 'outside' any more) and tucked it under one arm, staring out of the window at the strangeness outside. He couldn't contemplate all of it yet. It was too much. Well, he could, but it was still overwhelming. He sighed, speaking more to himself then anyone else around, "What do we do now?"

Comments

[bostonbeatcop.livejournal.com]

"Your country did a lot of things." He left it at that. Wasn't sure if telling him everything would be the best idea.

"Christ. This ship is messed up." He shook his head, suddenly feeling the need for a stiff drink.

[youngsoldat.livejournal.com]

Erwin stiffened. Another idiot who thought that Germany had wanted the war. That the Germans deserved it. He frowned, "...so did Stalin."

[bostonbeatcop.livejournal.com]

"Stalin wasn't exactly a nice guy either, but I don't think he ever rounded up people and put them in extermination camps for being Jews." Robert retorted.

[youngsoldat.livejournal.com]

"That... that's just Allied propoganda!" Erwin replied, voice snapping angrily. He didn't quite believe that. He just hadn't cared to think about it. He wasn't a Jew and he hadn't cared enough about them to think about it.

[bostonbeatcop.livejournal.com]

"Bullshit! I was there! I saw the camp, I smelled it, the filth, the burning bodies. I was fucking there. You were murdering those people!" He took a step forward, then visibly restrained himself. That kind of thing didn't exactly leave you.

"Men, women, kids. All of them. Because they weren't part of that Nazi 'master race' crap."

[youngsoldat.livejournal.com]

Erwin looked a bit shaken, "That wasn't my responsibility, even if it did happen! I'm a soldier! I don't-"

He swallowed his objection. He knew what he'd seen and done in Russia, "...I do what I have to do to protect my comrades and my country! I swore an oath to defend it!"

[bostonbeatcop.livejournal.com]

"Yeah? Other soldiers tried to do something! They got hung off of meat hooks for trying to save their country from Hitler!" He shook his head. It wasn't excuse, not to him. They wouldn't let that happen in his country, why should Germany be different?

[youngsoldat.livejournal.com]

"If anyone tried, they would be executed for high treason!" Erwin practically shouts, "You cannot just overthrow a government! Not in the middle of a war for national survival! Not when the Communists are at your doorstep! I am one man, one soldier? What do you want me to do?! Get executed with the rest? Uselessly?"

[bostonbeatcop.livejournal.com]

"You--you could have done something! Others found a way to resist!" He shook his head in disgust. "It's not an excuse when you have industrialized murder going on in your country!"

[youngsoldat.livejournal.com]

"Like what? Simply refuse to obey orders? I would be shot on the spot! Oh, I know, I could just walk home from Moscow!" Now he really is shooting, gesturing with his hands, "It is easy for you to say that now, when there isn't 3,000 miles of snow-covered tundra between you and home! It wasn't my responsibility and it wasn't my problem!"