Silence [open]

[almostluver.livejournal.com]

She'd been met by silence. Silence so loud that it hurt.

That's all there seemed to be.

It was eerie walking around Serenity and not running into Zöe or Wash, strange not seeing Simon in the infirmary, and it felt wrong not seeing Shepard Book studying his bible at the table. It was even strange not running into a leering Jayne.

Inara was finding that she missed them all. Missed the cheeriness that at most times could not only be found, but felt aboard Serenity.

That's part of the reason she found herself standing beside the ship, her hand resting lightly on the hull and staring up at it - her eyes wide and dark. Her fingers brush slowly against the cool metal and she shook her head. It wasn't right not having the whole crew there.

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[almostluver.livejournal.com]

Inara looked over at Nova in interest. Two alien species and humanity infighting? Didn't sound like such a wonderful place to be. Though she supposed the same could be said about her world. Humanity having depleted the resources of Earth-That-Was, effectively having to find new planets to settle on. The Alliance/Independant wars, and still despite a winner, still those who refused to live under the Alliance.

"Sounds sad," Inara stated after a brief moment of silence. "Perhaps in time a way will be found to stop such fighting." More likely not though, humans it seemed would always find something to fight over.

"I have yet to truly explore the ship. I figured it was best to allow myself time to get use to the idea of being here before I subject myself to any possible wonders that might be here." Truly though, she wanted to have time to mourn all those who hadn't been 'saved' - it still didn't seem right in her mind that so many had died.

Inara smiled as she leaned forward and placed her cup on the small table in front of them. "You only say that because you have yet to taste a tea made of orange blossoms or vanilla and strawberries."

[novembersghost.livejournal.com]

She caught the interest, and the woman's surface thoughts. But didn't say anything. It wasn't exactly a situation that bore too much conversation, was it? Nova would have told her about how they'd exhausted Old Earth's supplies and been forced to find new planets as well, but then she would have had to explain how she knew what was on the woman's mind. And she didn't feel like doing that. Not unless she had to. It hadn't been an easy colonisation of course, but then, humans were nothing if not hardy creatures.

Inara's statement got a sort of callous shrug though. "Maybe. Even if humans find a way not to figh themselves, I doubt the alien problem will go away so easily. And even if it does, humans are bound to pull something stupid against them eventually. Seems to be their nature to hate an fear things they can't comperehend." She sighed, letting her words be the only articulation of the woman's thoughts she would let pass.

"You're not mising any wonders, trust me. The view isn't that great, not while we're underway anyway. The only thing that might be of interest is Stacy's rather extensive Media Library." She caught that thought as well, making her pause inwardly. Who did she have to mourn for? Would she mourn anyway? Had she ever cared for anyone enough to mourn? Did she even know how? The questions came unbidden to her mind and she frowned slightly. Maybe associating with this woman wasn't the best of ideas. She'd never had such thoughts before. The raw emotion that Inara felt, leaking through Nova's periphiral senses didn't seem to help either.

She leaned out to set her cup down as well, giving it a critical eye. "Yes, I suppose that's why. It's hard to really tell how bad a thing is until you experience something better." A pause. "Or worse. But then, people are ungrateful, unappreciative creatures after all."

[almostluver.livejournal.com]

"With love and patience, nothing is impossible," Inara stated, remembering the quite from a lesson she had learned when she'd been schooled. "But I think in a way, you're right. Most do tend to fear and even loathe those and things they refuse to try to understand. That seems to be the problem though, doesn't it? The fear of trying to understand."

She rested her hands on her lap and tilted her head a little to the side. "That does indeed sound interesting. Though, I've heard there is a great city onboard, with buildings of great importance from various worlds. That I think is fascinating. It must be huge to hold so many buildings. Have you seen it yet?"

She was silent for a moment, thinking of the people she'd seen in her world. Sure, people wanted to live better and some even went so far as to steal and cheat to accomplish such a goal... But she'd seen a great deal of people who'd been more than content with what they had - no matter how little - and happy to merely be alive. "I think that people tend to strive for things they think will make them happy, and sometimes if they don't achieve such a thing, they become unappreciative of what they already have. But I also think that it doesn't apply to everyone."

[novembersghost.livejournal.com]

That was something she hadn't heard before. Tilting her head, she regarded the woman for a long moment. Could someone really be so idealistic? Specially after everything they had been through. "From my experience, it's not so often fear of understanding, but a defiant refusal to even consider taking a step outside the box of their own perception." She sighed quietly for a moment. "I'm sorry. My cynicism is showing." There was a mental furrowing of her brows. Since when had she cared enough to become cynical?

Nova leaned her head back against the couch, staring at the ceiling for a moment before running a hand through her hair. She really needed to find a tie for that. You'd figure with all the clothes some people had brought back, that someone would have thought to get a hair tie. When Inara talked about the city, she perked up. "The City? Yes, I've been there. There are various historical structures. Many from Old Earth, but many I don't recognise either. Alien structures most probably. It's a sight to see, definitely. There's a sort of calm there. Amidst the empty buildings. I'm not sure how to describe it." For someone who'd spent her whole life with the constant buzzing of voices in her head, the huge expanse of City was a sanctuary of silence.

Nova had dealt with a myriad of people in her life. Gotten close to them, learned everything about them. And she could hear people's thoughts. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing but greed, malice, and selfishness in their hearts. Like the businessman who'd offered her money not to kill him, but didn't care what would happen to his wife and daughters. Like the drug lord who'd been about to rape her mercilessly, thinking she was a helpless girl rather than a government assassin. Like the battleship captain who was selling information to the rebels so he could uphold his plush lifestyle. Selfish. Greedy. False people. She couldn't help but hate them sometimes. "Striving and stepping on people to get what you want are two different things. Of all the people I've met, not one has proved different. Maybe times of war bring out the worst in us all, but that means it was in us to begin with, wasn't it?"

There was a heavy silence for a moment, before she laughed sharply, shaking her head. "Listen to me, talking like a jaded war veteran. I'm sorry. This is terrible conversation." She looked down, demurely smoothing her dress. Why was she talking so much? Where was this coming from? She was meant to be information gathering. Why was this woman, this place, making her feel so at ease? Why was she letting her guard down so easily? A frown flitted across her features before she could catch it, but she quickly willed it away, looking back up at her host, eyes smiling.

She would need to be more careful.

[almostluver.livejournal.com]

"From my experience, people tend to believe things they're use to, things that are familiar. The unknown disrupts the normalicy of their lives, and in turn it's just easier to fear and shun all unknown and not understood." She smiled though, one full of understanding. She'd met plenty of cynics before, and so Nova's outlook was nothing that shocked or even disturbed her. Though it was intresting to Inara that she was able to understand Nova, and yet Mal was a complete mystery to her still. "It's alright, sometimes life leads us down that path. It is understandable."

Her smile brightened for a moment. The way Nova was describing the city made her want to go and explore it more than she had before. She'd only seen pictures of the great monuments and structures from The-Earth-That-Was. It would be fascinating to see them in person, to actually be able to reach out and touch them, to experience something that her ancestors had. "You make it sound like something truly amazing. I'll definately need to experience the city for myself then."

Her smile melted away though, and the look she now had was one of sadness and even pity. "It seems to me that you've only managed to find yourself surrounded by those of wicked hearts. Not everyone is like that, Nova. Some are full of life, of love, compassion." She reached out and gently touched Nova's knee with her fingertips. "Perhaps if you'd found those types of people before, your outlook on life would be completely different."

Drawing back, Inara shrugged her shoulders before waving a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it, Nova. Life leads us down different paths, and yours seems to have been one of sadness and much pain to have developed such an outlook on things."

She looked down at her hands for a moment. What was she doing? Why was she trying to council this woman? She barely knew her and yet she was telling her things she had no business saying. "I'm sorry, if anything I've said has upset you at all - please accept my deepest apology."

[novembersghost.livejournal.com]

"I heard once that a person's perceptions are their truth. It would make sense that they would cling to what they thought was true. Even the greatest men have been known to hold to ideals that were lees than beneficial to those around them, out of some kind of misguided idealism." Nova however, didn't understand the woman's smile. But a quick brush across her thoughts fixed that. Who was this Mal person? Well, maybe she'd find out through the course of the conversation. Inara's thought on her though, made her laugh inwardly a little. Did anyone really understand her at all? "Thank you. To be quite truthful, I doubt I would have chosen a different path though."

Noting the brightening of the woman's smile, her own revealed itself for a moment in answer. Nova had never seen Old Earth. She'd never really wanted to either. not if the reports of what it had become were true. But then, it wasn't as if she'd get the chance to anyway. Not with the way the Protoss and the Zerg had been tearing humans apart. "I can take you sometime. It's usually empty. But sometimes, there are individuals there who may make it an unpleasant visit."

She caught the look, and she didn't like it. She didn't like being looked at like some helpless child. She wasn't. She was strong, unbreakable. But she schooled her features into a mask of neutrality. "Maybe. In my line of work, one didn't tend to meet very many people who were pure and innocent. But even then, you'd think I'd have come across just one in all my time." At the touch of those fingers, her gaze caught the woman's for a moment, before she looked away with a slight shrug. "It's not something I spend too much time thinking about. Those experiences made me strong. Made me who I am. I wouldn't change that. And something tells me, the situation we find ourselves in now, calls for me to be strong."

She didn't reply to that, simply stared down at her hands for a long while. That was true. She barely knew the meanings of the words 'kindness' and 'goodness.' They were completely alien to her. Concepts from another a world. A world that she wasn't, and could never be a part of. Had she been scarred by her experiences? Maybe. But it didn't matter. At least, she didn't think it did.

Looking up again, she tilted her head, before breaking into a gentle smile, and shaking her head. She caught those thoughts, and while one part of her wondered why as well, another part was...what? Grateful? Amused? She wasn't sure. But she surely didn't need council, or comfort. Did she? "No. You spoke your mind. And that is a rare thing these days. Thank you for doing so."

[almostluver.livejournal.com]

"I think it can also be that it's the instinct of the protection. Inside we know we are volunerable in certain areas. We have and know things that are a certain way, and we want to keep it that way. So we tend to fear that whatever we don't know may change the way we are." Perhaps she was straying to far into a personal area - it did brush on certain aspects of her own life.

Mal. She knew she cared deeply for him - more than she let him believe she did. But it was better that way, better to keep him at arm's length, let him think she didn't care for him. It would only complicate things, and the fact that he didn't respect her profession, well that just caused more problems.

She shook her head, quickly focusing on Nova again and what she was saying. The city. "What do you mean make it an unpleasant visit?" Her brows creased in worry. "I thought the crew got along...." Perhaps not, it wouldn't be all that surprising seeing as how many different cultures and different types of beings were onboard.

"I didn't mean pure and innocent. I merely met good people." Her head tilted a little to the side as she studied Nova, wondering exactly all that Nova's story was. "Perhaps we do need to be strong, but I also think that we need to be compassionate." She shrugged her shoulders a little, but it was true. Compassion went a long way and really, couldn't one be both strong and compassionate at the same time?

Inara let out a small breath of relief and shot Nova a bright smile. "Well good, perhaps more should do so. It would lead to fewer misunderstandings."